The Life She Should've Had
by ACE732
Summary: Rory finds herself a guest at the wedding of the year. The only thing is, the groom just happens to be the one she let get away. Is she really over him? Will she be able to stand back and watch him marry someone else? Set 3 years after s7. Rogan.
1. Chapter 1: Marriage and the Masochist

**AN: For those of you who have read my other stories and are cursing my name waiting for an update, I know you are probably asking why have I started a new story when I can't update my old ones regularly as it is? Well, I apologise and I can only tell you that I am seriously going to work on that. And this idea just popped into my head and I really like it. I had to write it down and I just wanted to post this first chapter to see what you all think and whether I should bother continuing. I value your opinions so let me know. **

**This is set three years after the show. Everything happened as it did on Gilmore Girls and of course this is a Rory and Logan based story. I still love these two and I'm just playing my part keeping the Sophies love alive.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm just borrowing the characters and having some fun. **

The Life She Should've Had

Chapter One: Marriage and the Masochist.

_Inhale…exhale…repeat…inhale…exhale…repeat…_

She sat in the back seat of the cab, her fingers fidgeting with the clutch purse in her lap, her leg bouncing nervously and her mouth was bone dry. She had to keep reminding herself to breathe. She had to keep reminding herself why she was actually going through with this insane idea. It might have been three years since she had last seen him, but actually agreeing to be a guest at his wedding was just asking way too much of herself. Her life was a mess as it was right now; she didn't need to see what she could have had. She didn't need to be reminded of the life she could've had for herself, but turned down.

She remembered the moment she found out the 'good' news. While searching through The Hartford Courier for her article, she had stumbled across the smiling faces of one Logan Huntzberger and his blushing bride to be, Kim Masterson. They both radiated so much happiness in that little black and white picture. So much so that Rory had never submitted another piece to that newspaper again. Now as a freelance journalist, she couldn't really afford to turn down jobs but she wasn't a masochist.

Or maybe she was. In fact she absolutely must be because she was currently seated in the back of a cab on her way to the wedding of the year. The wedding of Logan Huntzberger, her ex-boyfriend and probable love of her life. She wasn't intending to ruin the big day. There would be no embarrassing declarations or desperate attempts to get the groom to change his mind and instead run away with her. As much as she still had strong feelings for Logan, she wasn't an idiot. He was getting married to someone who he clearly loved. He had moved on and despite the fact that he had invited her to his wedding, she was fairly certain that his invite held no ulterior motives. He was probably just being polite. Their families knew each other. It was simple etiquette. He absolutely did not still harbour feelings for her and he definitely was not trying to manoeuvre her back into his life. There was no way that he would do a 'Ross' and say the wrong name. He was just being polite and she was simply returning that politeness by attending.

She had talked herself out of attending Logan's wedding about a million times. Her mother had also tried to change her mind, but she truly was a glutton for punishment because here she was on her way to the church about to see the man, who three years earlier had asked her to marry him, say 'I do' to marrying someone else.

She just hoped that there was a lot of alcohol at the reception.

It would have been fine if her life had turned out the way she had wanted. She couldn't rave about how wonderful her job was. She didn't have the perfect guy in her life. She was still the same pathetic Rory Gilmore who worked as a freelance journalist, lived in a crummy apartment in Hartford and had no love life whatsoever despite her Grandmothers attempts to set her up. She was one of those pitiable people who peaked in college and the dreams that she had so vehemently chased were yet to come into fruition. Life was hard. It wasn't as wide open as she'd hoped. The years had wised her to the fact that not all dreams come true. And she was moments from watching another one crash to the ground.

Even after she had turned down Logan's proposal, she always had hoped deep down that they would find their way back to one another one day. Through all of the bad dates and the rejections, she had consoled herself with the knowledge that he was out there and that when the time was right they would end up together and live happily ever after. Today was the final nail in the coffin of that feeble hope. He hadn't felt the same way. He hadn't sat around waiting. He was getting married today to someone that wasn't her and she had to admit that a little piece of her heart was dying inside.

She wouldn't get to deliberate over whether she should take his surname or keep her own. She wouldn't get to meet those adorable blue-eyed, blonde-haired babies that her Grandparents had been so excited about when they first got together. She wouldn't get to spend the rest of her life with the most incredible man she had ever met. Someone else would. Kim Masterson would.

"We're here, Miss." The sound of the driver speaking snapped her from her soul destroying thoughts. She looked up and met the old man's gaze before craning her neck to the side to see the white building towering over her. It immediately filled her with dread. She felt like a vampire terrified of walking onto consecrated ground. What was she thinking? How could she possibly think that this was a good idea?

"Are you getting out or what?" She looked back to see the driver with a curious look on his face. She was pretty sure that he probably thought she was insane by now anyway. When she had first gotten into the cab she had taken about ten minutes to actually tell him where she wanted to go. Then when she'd finally worked up the nerve, she'd changed her mind and told him to take her somewhere else only to then change her mind back again.

"Oh right. Sorry," she mumbled and then remembered that she would need to pay the cab driver before she actually left the vehicle. She opened her purse and removed a couple of bills handing them through the gap. She tipped him healthily as a way to apologise for being such a pain in the ass.

As the cab driver started up his engine, signalling that he would now be leaving, Rory sat frozen on the seat, one hand on her purse, the other on the door handle. She nibbled on her lip as her heart thrummed in her ears. She internally screamed at herself to open the door and slowly but surely she did. She didn't glance back at the driver as she climbed out. She didn't need to see the look on his face. As she stood on the sidewalk, she took a deep breath and watched as the cab sped away from her.

Stupidly she waved as he left. She felt oddly attached to that nameless driver. Perhaps she could've asked him to accompany her to the wedding. She could say that he was her father, which of course would be ridiculous because Logan had already met her father and would instantly know she was lying and clearly insane.

"Oh my god, Rory?!" a high pitched voice called from behind her. Her feet were stuck to the sidewalk, not allowing her to turn around to face the direction of the voice. "Rory Gilmore, as I live and breathe."

Sighing, Rory turned to greet the oncoming blonde haired beauty. It took her a few moments to recognise the woman as the last time she had seen her she had been severely drunk, with longer hair and a tendency to want to make out with everyone. Now she seemed completely sober and her hair was still blonde only shorter. She drifted over towards her dressed in a beautiful baby pink designer dress that no doubt cost more than her apartment. She had a slight bump on her stomach, not from putting on weight. She was glowing and quite obviously several months pregnant.

"Stephanie?" she asked. She received a warm hug in reply.

"I can't believe you're here. You were the last person I thought would show up but here you are. I have to say, I think that's really brave. Oh and I love your dress. Is that Gucci?" Rory took a few seconds to recover from Stephanie's barrage. She always was so lively and bubbly and always cut straight to the point. She had been one of Logan's closest friends back in Yale and obviously they were still close.

"Um, no I got it on discount," Rory chose to respond to the safest subject; her dress was pretty plain and simple. A nice pale blue dress that accentuated all the important things and covered the rest.

"It's really pretty," Stephanie smiled, "It brings out your eyes."

"Thanks," Rory blushed. Even at the age of twenty-five she still blushed at the slightest compliment. "So when are you due?"

She tried to steer the conversation away from her and pointed towards the obvious bump under Stephanie's dress. The blonde frowned and placed her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean?" she said in a slightly insulted tone.

"The baby. When are you…?" she blanched when she saw Stephanie's eyes widen with rage. "Oh my God! I thought…"

Just as Rory was about to pray to the God's for some lightning to strike her down where she stood, Stephanie burst out laughing.

"Look at your face!" she pointed at her as she broke into hysterics. "I wish I had my camera."

Rory just stood awkwardly in front of her as people walked by. She stared in confusion before Stephanie finally managed to calm herself down.

"I love doing that to people. It's too easy," she beamed, pleased with herself. Realisation dawned for Rory and she couldn't help but scowl at the blonde.

"I'm due in October. Although, I really wish the little slugger would come early. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is being pregnant in this heat? I mean we're in Connecticut for crying out loud. Why does it have to be so hot?"

"Because it is God's soul purpose in life to piss you off, sweetie!" a deep voice addressed her. Rory's eyes widened as she caught sight of the owner of that voice. Colin wrapped his arms around Stephanie and kissed her neck. Steph rolled her eyes and then hugged him back. When Colin tore himself away from the apparent mother of his child to notice Rory standing before them, his face paled and his eyes widened in shock.

"Rory?!"

"Hey Colin. It's good to see you. Congratulations." Rory offered as Colin straightened up. She saw him steel furtive glances towards the church, clearly looking for someone.

"Thanks. You too." He nodded but he was obviously uncomfortable in her presence. "What are you…? I mean, who…?"

"She's here to stop the wedding!" Stephanie interrupted him. Colin's eyes widened further if that was at all possible and a look of sheer terror covered his features. Rory stared at Stephanie with a similar look of horror.

"I never said…"

"Oh my god, did you two lose your sense of humour or something? I was kidding. Geez what does it take for a pregnant woman to have some fun around here?" She shook her head and waddled away leaving Colin alone with Rory on the sidewalk feeling a million times more uncomfortable.

"So, you're not really here to…?"

"No," she cut him off vehemently. "I was invited."

Rory reached into her purse and brought out the invite to show him proof that she wasn't some crazy stalker, and that she was in fact a genuine member of the wedding party. Colin glanced at her and then at the invite.

"Oh." Colin remained stiff as a board as he lowered his gaze to his shiny black shoes. Rory began fidgeting with her clutch purse and biting her lower lip as the nerves began to take over her body.

"So, are you the best man?" Rory asked desperate to eradicate the horrible atmosphere between them. Once upon a time, Rory and Colin had actually been able to hold a conversation and not have it be awkward. She had even counted him as a relatively good friend. Things had changed drastically to the point where he could hardly even look her in the eye.

"Yeah, Finn was my best man. We agreed that I'd be Logan's," he explained and Rory understood. "Although, personally I think Logan got the better end of the deal. I mean, I have yet to sleep with any of the bridesmaids and I haven't lost the rings unlike a certain Australian."

Colin's brow furrowed as he remembered his own wedding and Rory couldn't help but giggle. Finn had always been the most unreliable person she had ever met so she could understand Colin's ire.

"So Finn hasn't changed much then?" she giggled and Colin shrugged it off.

"Listen the ceremony is gonna start in like, twenty minutes. The bride's not here yet but…" he hesitantly met her gaze, "…you should probably go inside and find a seat."

"Oh, right." She nodded and then took a deep breath as she walked around Colin and started heading for the church.

"Hey Rory?!" Colin called out to her and she spun back to face him. "It's really good to see you again."

He smiled a genuine smile and she mirrored his expression. She gave him a little wave and then continued on her journey.

As she got closer to the building, people were milling around, heading inside. She followed an old couple inside and then as her eyes darted around trying to figure out where she was supposed to go, she saw him.

Standing alone in his tuxedo with his eyes closed. He was taking deep breaths and muttering something to himself. Rory froze on the spot. It had been three long years since she had last seen him in the flesh. His engagement picture certainly didn't do him justice. Gone were the boyish good looks that had made him such a hit with the ladies back in in college. He looked so grown up. So different. He was handsome and he looked more manly. His blonde hair was slightly darker and still its usual disarray. Rory found herself smiling amused by that as she remembered all the times she had heard him cursing at his reflection when his hair wouldn't sit the way he wanted. Never mind the fact that he looked good anyway. She could just imagine him that morning battling with his unruly hair. Even on his wedding day it wouldn't co-operate.

It was his wedding day. Logan, _her_ Logan was getting married. Only he wasn't _her_ Logan anymore. That thought made her sigh in resignation and just in that moment, he opened his eyes and looked over in her direction. Rory's heart started thumping in her chest and she thought she was going to hyperventilate. Their eyes connected and for a second she was sure she saw him smile.

_Inhale…exhale…repeat…inhale…exhale…repeat…_

**AN: So what do you think? Good? Bad? Indifferent? I know you want updates and I am working on them as we speak but please let me know what you think about this one. **


	2. Chapter 2: My Life, The Soap Opera

**AN: I'm sorry it took so long to get this second chapter out. I just had to make a few changes but I'm happy with how it turned out. I hope you are too. Thanks to all of you who reviewed and told me to continue. I know you probably all think I'm nuts for starting another story but my mind is a wonderful thing lol. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. Just my stories. **

The Life She Should've Had

Chapter Two: My Life, The Soap Opera

_Inhale…exhale…repeat…inhale…exhale…repeat._

Logan had never been the nervous type. Everything up until now had been easy, but for some reason as he stood just off to the side of the front entrance of the church, his nerves were starting to show themselves. It wasn't a big deal. He _was_ getting married after all. It wasn't like he was getting cold feet, it was just that he was about to stand up in front of two hundred people and declare the ultimate commitment; marriage.

Slowly he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, muttering his vows over and over again to remind himself. His gaze scanned his surroundings landing on a ghost from his past. For a second he thought he was having some kind of weird hallucination, but when she smiled that familiar, nervous smile and waved over to him, he knew his over-worked mind wasn't playing tricks on him. She was really here. The 'she' in question was his ex-girlfriend; Rory Gilmore. The first woman he'd ever fallen in love with and the first and only woman to break his heart.

As she hesitantly made her way over to him, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was really real. He kept his expression neutral as his eyes appraised her. Her long chestnut locks framing her delicate features. The blue dress she wore brought out her eyes and he was instantly snapped back to a time when just the mere sight of her would do strange things to him.

When she finally stopped before him, he watched as she nibbled nervously on her bottom lip, her eyes desperately searching his for some kind of assurance that he couldn't give. Quite simply he was stunned to see her there. It was his wedding day after all. Why on earth would she show up on the very day that he was going to promise himself to someone else forever?

Or maybe that was why she was there. Was she planning on stopping the wedding? Did she want him back?

Or…his mind was whirling with all the possibilities and he had no idea how he felt about this sudden turn of events. He felt confused and angry. He felt that old bitterness that tugged at his heart having been rejected so publicly by her all those years ago. The most baffling of emotions plaguing him was that of relief. He felt relived to see her again. It had been so long. After their break up and his move to California, he had made a point of ending all communication with her. When he returned to the east coast a few months ago after his reconciliation of sorts with his father, he barely gave her a passing thought. He had moved on, he was engaged to someone else. Someone who wanted to share her future with him. Not someone who thought that he would limit her choices. Not that he compared the two. He was completely over Rory Gilmore, but he couldn't deny how much she had hurt him. It had taken a long time to pick up the pieces and try to move on with his life.

Today was his wedding day; testament to just far he had come. He hadn't spent the last three years pining over the one who got away. He was very much in love with his fiancé. Kim was everything he wanted in a woman and she loved him back the same. So what the hell was _she _doing here?!

"Your tie's crooked," she said softly with a nervous smile. Logan narrowed his eyes at her sceptically, evaluating the situation. He didn't speak; he just kept his dark eyes on her. She shifted uncomfortably and held her hands behind her back.

"I um," her voice croaked and she cleared her throat. "I had this great big speech planned. I was trying to think of what to say to you. I mean, it's been a while…but…now that you're standing right in front of me…I can't remember a word."

Her reticent eyes finally met his and they stared at each other for a few silent minutes. The hustle and bustle of people making their way into the church was the only noise around them. Logan couldn't quite comprehend what she was doing here.

Her eyes fluttered back to his tie and she smiled remembering her earlier comment. She took a step toward him and reached up to straighten his tie, Logan instinctively took a step back cutting her off, his eyes widening as her scent surrounded him.

"What are you doing here, Rory?" he asked his eyes just as harsh as his tone. Rory was visibly affected by his icy exterior.

"I…"

"It's been three years and I haven't heard a peep out of you and now you show up here, today. The day I'm supposed to get _married_!" he said, emphasising the word 'married'. He was simply incredulous at her reappearance in his life.

"I just…you invited me," she explained, feeling increasingly hurt by his abrasive attitude towards her.

Logan's brows furrowed as he listened to her. He knew with every ounce of his being that he hadn't invited her.

"I didn't invite you," he said sternly, shaking his head.

"I got the invitation a few weeks ago," she said confused by his response. She began searching through her purse for the proof. Her fingers finally clutched the intricately decorated envelope when she heard a familiar voice address her.

"Rory?" Shira, Logan's mother approached them with a smug smile on her face. "How lovely to see you here. I'm so glad you could make it."

Rory's moment of realisation dawned at the same time as Logan's. His eyes narrowed at his mother and he spoke with a clenched jaw.

"Mom, what are you playing at?"

Shira continued smiling as if nothing affected her. Rory felt her stomach fill with dread. She had been set up. Logan wasn't being polite in inviting her. The thought to invite her hadn't even entered his mind. This was all Shira's doing.

"You sent the invitation," she stated. It wasn't a question. Shira nodded haughtily and Rory sighed dejectedly.

"Of course I did, dear. You don't really think that Logan would really want you here on his wedding day, do you?" she asked in her familiar conceited tone. Logan stood at the side, trying to contain the anger that was flooding through him at his mother's antics. He knew it had been a bad idea to allow her to be involved in the wedding planning.

Rory didn't respond. She struggled to hold back the tears she could feel prickle the back of her eyes. "I just wanted you to see the life you could've had. Had you not thought yourself to be too good for a Huntzberger," she explained as Logan quietly seethed. "The fact that you actually showed up just shows how arrogant you really are."

"Mom," Logan warned. His eyes were burning. Shira looked up and smiled completely ignoring the fact that her son was seriously pissed off at her.

"Logan, Colin is looking for you. The car will be here in five minutes. You should go get ready." Logan's burning rage wilted slightly as he remembered that he was actually supposed to be getting married in a few minutes. His eyes moved from Shira to Rory. He could see the hurt and pain in her expression and part of him wanted to reach out to her and apologise for his mother's behaviour. However, he couldn't keep his bride waiting. His priorities didn't include Rory anymore.

Shira noticed his conflict and touched his arm, giving him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about Rory. I'll see her to her seat. You go and get married."

He hesitated for a moment longer. Rory met his gaze and he instantly wanted to kill his mother for putting Rory in this position. She wasn't his favourite person right now but she didn't deserve to be the target of his mother's misguided attempts at showing solidarity with her son.

He tried to communicate with her with one last glance to see if she would be alright, but time was ticking by and he had to go get ready. His eyes flickered to his mother and if looks could kill, his father would be a widow right now.

With a resigned sigh, he stormed away in search of his best man, leaving Rory alone with his mother.

Shira turned back to face Rory, her smile dripping with self-satisfaction. She was very happy with herself. Her plan had worked brilliantly.

Rory continued staring after Logan feeling completely desolate. A few years ago, he never would have just walked away. He would've let his mother know just how much of a bitch she was. His priorities had changed. She was no longer the centre of his universe. She hadn't been for a very long time. He had truly moved on and left her behind him. The thought made her heart ache and a stray tear escaped.

"I think I should go," she said softly as she wiped the tear away. Shira raised her eyebrows at her and smirked before grabbing her arm.

"Oh you are not going anywhere, young lady." She led her through the entrance of the church hall, smiling sweetly at the guests as they passed them by. Rory winced as she could feel her nails digging into her arm.

"You will sit here, and keep your mouth shut while you watch _my _son marry the love of his life!" she whispered discreetly. They stopped a few rows from the front to see Richard and Emily smile warily at her.

"Here she is!" Shira beamed as she gestured for Rory to make her way beside her grandparents. Rory lowered her gaze and slumped her shoulders dejectedly. There was no way she was getting out of this. She would have to endure the torture of watching her ex-boyfriend get married to someone else. And she would have to do it with a smile on her face.

She sat down next to her Grandfather and stared forward as Shira waltzed away. She took a deep breath and fought the still present urge to burst into tears. Then she felt something squeeze her hand and she looked down to see her Grandfather's hand covering hers. She looked back up and gave him a watery smile. Richard leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead as if reading her mind.

"We're here for you, Rory," he whispered showing that he understood just how hard this would be for her. Rory let her head fall onto his shoulder for a brief second as she tried to compose herself. Emily leaned forward from beside Richard and reached her hand over to comfort her granddaughter. She gave her a concerned look and then spoke.

"If you want to leave at any moment, just let us know." Rory found herself smiling. Who would've thought that Richard and Emily Gilmore could be so considerate and empathetic! Her mother would never believe her.

_Inhale…exhale…_

"There you are!" Colin called out as he approached a seriously pissed off Logan. He was pacing back and forth, arguing with his mother in his head. He couldn't believe she had the nerve to invite Rory to his wedding as some bid for revenge. Actually who was he kidding? He could totally believe that. This was Shira Huntzberger; the woman had taken it as a personal slight against the family name when Rory had turned him down. Even though mother and son weren't exactly on the best of terms at the time. It just said everything about how twisted the Huntzbergers actually were. His parents weren't upset that their son had been rejected because they loved him and felt sorry for him. It was because it made _them_ look bad. As if they weren't good enough or something and the Huntzbergers could not possibly have that.

But to actually send out an invite to purposefully humiliate Rory was just cruel. He might've hated her at one point, but she didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

"What's up?" Colin asked as he watched him grow evermore agitated. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"I saw Rory," Logan managed to get out. Colin visibly slumped his shoulders and shut his eyes in understanding.

"I thought this might happen," he said and sat down on the bench. Logan looked over to him with confusion in his eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"You saw Rory and now you don't know if you should go through with the wedding," Colin explained and Logan froze on the spot.

"What?" he asked, completely incredulous at Colin's assumption.

"I get it. You still love her. I just wish you would have figured it out before we had two hundred plus people waiting for you to marry someone else."

"Colin…"

"I mean talk about bad timing-"

"What bad timing?" Finn asked as he entered the room, fidgeting with his tie.

"Rory's here," Colin said simply. Finn's eyes almost bugged out of his head.

"Gilmore's here!" he was stunned. Colin nodded and Finn sat down beside him. Logan just stared at them as if they were idiots, which they were.

"Guys I'm not having second thoughts because of Rory. I'm not having second thoughts at all. Shira invited her as some plot to get back at her for turning me down," he informed them.

Colin and Finn looked up at him in surprise.

"Seriously?" Colin asked and Logan nodded his response. "That woman is truly diabolical," he stated as he slumped back on the bench.

"So, you didn't invite her because you still love her and secretly want her to ruin the wedding so you two can run off and be together?" Finn asked as he stole a sip from his flask.

Logan and Colin stared at him through narrowed eyes and Logan could feel some of his anger return.

"No, Finn," he said simply. Colin shook his head at his friend.

"You have got to stop watching those soap operas, Man."

A knock at the door interrupted them and someone called through the door, "The car's here!"

Instantly everyone tensed and Finn jumped up from the bench.

"I should get out there," he took one last sip of his flask, offering some to Colin and Logan who just stared at him in annoyance. "Good luck, mate!"

He disappeared out of the room and Logan turned to follow him. Just as he was about to leave the room, Colin grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He had a thoughtful look on his face and Logan couldn't help but ask what was on his mind.

"What is it?" Colin dropped his arm and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Finn's a lunkhead most of the time but he does make some sense sometimes," he began nervously. Logan wondered what he was talking about. His mind was already on his impending nuptials.

"Colin?"

"I'm your best man and more importantly, your best friend. So it's sort of my duty to make sure…" his voice trailed off at the confused look on Logan's face.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? Are you sure that Kim is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

"Of course I am," Logan replied without hesitating.

"And what about Rory? You wanted to marry her once upon a time. You don't have any feelings for her at all?"

"Colin," Logan cut him off, he was beginning to feel even more annoyed by this line of questioning. Sure, he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with Rory at one point, but she said no. He moved on and was about to marry his perfect woman. He was certain of his feelings. Rory wasn't a part of his life anymore. She hadn't been for a long time and Colin more than anyone should've known that.

"I'm just checking," he said as he held up his hands in defence, "I don't want you to end up regretting anything. I mean, my Dad is on wife number seven. I don't want that to be you."

"I love Kim," Logan said resolutely. Colin studied him closely for a few seconds. He seemed convinced in himself. Colin wasn't so sure. He had seen how far he had fallen for one Rory Gilmore and he had been around for the repair job that was needed when she broke his heart. It might have been three years and he may have found somebody else, but for Colin he had always believed that somehow Rory and his best friend would find their way back to one another again.

"And you felt nothing seeing Rory again?" he asked cautiously. It was a sensitive subject matter. Logan frowned, his stance tensed. Colin was sure he saw something flicker in his eyes as he considered his question.

"No," he answered sternly and Colin sighed resigned. He couldn't push him to admitting whether he still had feelings for Rory. If Logan was set on his decision and this was what he truly wanted, then he would have to give his blessing and go along with it.

"Okay," he shrugged and Logan turned back towards the door. Colin grabbed him again and smiled.

"Your tie's crooked," he said and straightened the offending item. Logan met his gaze and Colin smiled. "Say Goodbye to your single life!"

Logan smiled and let out a gentle laugh. "Let's go do this before Finn propositions my future mother-in-law."

They both grinned knowingly and then Colin pat him on the back and they left the room, closing the door behind them. He was closing the door to both his single life and to Rory, once and for all.

**AN: So what do you think? How much do we hate Shira? How much do we love Colin and Finn? And how badly do you want to read the next chapter? Ha! Send me a review and let me know. Oh btw, I'm writing the next chapter of ISWAK and JHL as we speak. I'll hopefully have something soon. Thanks guys. **


	3. Chapter 3: Letting Go

**AN:**Sorry it took so long to get this story updated. I just had a few teething problems with it. Even though the show has been over for a while now, I'm still a big Sophie supporter and writing about Logan marrying someone else is kind of hard. So I totally understand if you hate this chapter. Just trust me when I tell you things will work out for our favourite twosome. I hope you read on and let me know what you think. Merry Christmas.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gilmore Girls. If I did, Rory and Logan would have ended up together.

The Life She Should've Had

Chapter Three: Letting Go

The ceremony passed without a hitch. There were no horrifying moments where either groom or bride said the wrong name. Colin handed over the rings at exactly the right time and no one tried to prevent the wedding from going forward when the minister asked if anyone objected. Rory felt a few eyes on her at that point, especially her Grandparents. Emily even went so far as to reach over and hold onto her arm, just in case she had any desire to jump up and yell out.

She watched on in silence fighting the lump in her throat as Logan said 'I do'. She tried to ignore how happy he looked as his beautiful new wife said it back to him. She shut her eyes and wiped away the stray tear that fell down her cheek. Her mind was assaulted with images of what their wedding day would have been like if she had said yes. It wasn't that she regretted saying no to Logan. At the time it had been the right thing for her. She wasn't ready to marry him, but she wasn't prepared to lose him either. Now her chance with Logan was eternally over and it broke her heart.

She opened her watery eyes to see Emily offering her a handkerchief. She smiled and accepted it, wiping her cheeks, hoping that she didn't have panda eyes.

When the minister finally said those words she had been dreading; 'I now pronounce you husband and wife,' she looked up just in time to see Logan kiss his new wife the way he used to kiss her. He held her face in his hands, looking deeply into her eyes before melding their mouths and hearts together. Applause rung out amongst the congregation and everyone stood while Logan and the new Mrs Huntzberger made their way back down the aisle. Rory wiped her face, took a deep breath and when she opened her eyes she met Colin's reluctant gaze. He didn't look as happy as a best man should look. He breathed out a sigh as he led the maid of honour down the isle. She offered him a small smile and he nodded and broke his gaze away.

"Shall we?" Richard offered Rory his arm and a warm smile. Rory took his arm and rest her head against his shoulder. Emily followed them out of the church.

They stood at the foyer watching as everyone congregated around the happy couple as they got into their car.

"Hey Rory!" Rory turned to see Stephanie approach with a concerned expression on her face. "What happened back there?"

"What do you mean?" Rory asked as she excused herself from her Grandparents.

"I was waiting for you to say something," Stephanie explained, "I thought for sure that you came to stop the wedding."

Rory found herself smiling at her old friend. "Sorry to disappoint you."

"I owe Finn fifty bucks now too," she mumbled to herself and Rory chuckled at the idea of Logan's friend betting on her to ruin his wedding. The thought had passed through her mind; however, she never had been too keen on the whole public humiliation thing.

"Are you coming to the reception?" Steph asked resting her hand on her large pregnant stomach. Rory shook her head. She wasn't that much of a masochist. She'd watched him get married; she didn't need to have it rubbed in any longer.

"I get it," Steph nodded in understanding, "I still think you're the bravest person in the world for showing up here today."

"Brave or stupid?" Rory asked her tone heavy with sarcasm. Stephanie's eyes lit up and she reached across to touch her shoulder reassuringly.

"Definitely brave," she informed her and then pulled her in for a hug. "I hope my kid is as kick ass as you are."

Rory smiled at that and pulled away. "It was good to see you again, Stephanie. I hope things work out for you and Colin and this little one," she said while gently patting Stephanie's baby bump.

Stephanie smiled sweetly at her just as Colin approached them both. "We should head to the reception. I have to go over my speech."

Stephanie nodded and rolled her eyes, and then with one last hug, she made her way down the steps of the church, leaving Colin alone with Rory.

"How you doin'?" he asked in a cautious tone. Rory met his gaze and remembered the look he'd given her in the church.

"Colin what was that all about before? Why did you look at me like that?" she asked genuinely curious to know what was going on in his mind.

Colin sighed in resignation. He looked away for a few seconds, his mind hesitating over whether to answer her question.

"I have to go make a speech saying how happy I am for my best friend, and how Kim is the perfect woman for him," he explained causing Rory to frown in confusion.

"I have to say all that…when I know it's not true," he met her gaze and she immediately understood what he was saying to her. "I'll see you around, Rory."

Rory watched him walk away with a heavy heart. She appreciated Colin's sentiments. It was nice to know that she had someone on her side after all. Although, it didn't really make much of a difference. Logan was still married and she was alone.

**000000000000000**

"May I have this dance?" Rory looked up from inspecting the diminishing contents of her wine glass to see her Grandfather beaming down at her. She smiled instantly in response and took his proffered hand, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor.

"Where's Grandma?" she asked softly as they began to move gingerly around the ballroom.

"Oh she's around here somewhere," he replied as he briefly searched the room for his wife with an amused smirk on his face. Rory immediately understood him.

"I am so glad I'm not one of those poor waiters," she said as she imagined the nasty tongue-lashing they were probably receiving right at that moment. Richard nodded and then returned his beaming smile to his granddaughter.

"I have to admit Rory, you look absolutely exquisite tonight," he informed her with nothing but love and pride in his eyes. Rory blushed and hugged her Grandfather closer.

"Thank you. You look very handsome tonight too," Richard nodded in acknowledgment of her kind words but soon his light-hearted expression faded, and he looked down at her with sadness and concern in his eyes.

"How are you doing?" he asked softly, his grip tightening around her as he tried to offer his support in any way he could.

Rory felt her stomach coil as she let her mind consider the events of the day. She had come face to face with Logan for the first time since their break-up; she'd had to deal with the news that it wasn't he who'd invited her to his wedding, but his mother in an act of malice. Then she'd had to watch on in silence while the man who would always have her heart, gave his to someone else for the rest of his life. Now, here she was dancing at his wedding reception, trying to put on a brave face and pretend that the moment he'd said 'I do' to someone else hadn't destroyed her.

With a heavy sigh, she offered a shrug and a watery smile, "I'm fine."

"Oh Rory we don't have to stay here any longer. We can go right now," Richard offered sympathetically.

"Really, Grandpa. I'm okay," she lied. She was barely holding herself together. She felt like at any moment she would fall apart, but she still couldn't bring herself to leave. For some reason she wanted to stay and revel in the misery. Maybe she really was a masochist. Maybe she was unconsciously punishing herself for turning him down in the first place.

Here's the life you could have had!

Maybe it had just been so long since she had last been in the same room as Logan, that she was willing to put herself through hell just to prolong the feeling of being close to him at some level.

"Well, if you want to leave, just say the word…" Richard informed her and nodded in reply. Her downcast eyes drifted hopelessly over to the other side of the room where the newly-weds were basking in the merriment of the day. She had never seen him look so happy and it killed her that she wasn't the one sitting by his side. She couldn't even hate his new bride. She just envied her.

However, she had made her choice. Rory had turned down Logan's proposal. She'd turned down a life with him. And whatever her reasons may have been, she had to make peace with them and let him go.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled her gaze away from the happy couple and back to her beloved Grandfather. He stared at her in silence, studying her blue eyes, waiting for whatever she would say next. Rory leaned forward into his embrace, kissed his cheek and smiled at him.

"Let's go find Grandma and go home,"

Richard nodded and quickly offered her his arm as he led her off the dance floor and away from the crowd. She stood at the side of the stage as Richard went off to find Emily and their coats. She watched with a fond smile on her face. People could say whatever they wanted about Richard and Emily Gilmore, as Grandparents they had their faults, but she had never had any doubts about how much they loved her.

"I hope you weren't planning on slinking away without saying goodbye, Rory."

A harsh voice snuck up on her from behind. Rory didn't really have to turn around to know who it was. She just did so out of her never-ending need to be polite, even to hell's minions.

"Shouldn't you be off enjoying the festivities?" she hit back, tired off being afraid of this woman, "In case, you didn't know, your only son just got married. Don't you think there are more important things to involve yourself with?"

Shira's smug grin never faded. She looked like the cat that got the cream. Rory felt her whole body shudder in her presence. The woman was truly evil incarnate.

"There's nothing more important than making sure you know your place, Rory Gilmore."

In that moment, Rory found herself feeling incredibly sorry for her. Here she was at her son's wedding and all she could worry about was putting Rory in her place. She truly was pathetic. She almost felt grateful that she wouldn't have to deal with her ever again. Almost.

"Goodbye, Shira." she started to walk away but as always Shira had to have the last word.

"It could have been you, Rory. All of this could have been yours," she said taking great joy in rubbing it in. Rory froze and turned back to face her. Her eyes drifted from Shira's haughty expression to one of elation on her son's face. Then, acting completely on impulse, she walked back towards the room and made her way up onto the stage where the DJ was busy preparing the next song. Taking a deep breath, she whispered into his ear and he handed her the microphone with a look of confusion on his face. Rory spun back to face Shira, her face had paled. She wasn't grinning anymore. Rory could feel her heart pounding in her chest and she was sure she was going to throw up, but she pushed it down and turned to face the crowd.

The music stopped and silence met her as she took in the scene around her. People were still talking, but quickly they were interrupted by others pointing up at her with wary expressions on their faces. Clearly they knew who she was and were expecting the inevitable scene from the jealous ex. She could feel every eye on her, especially a pair of chocolate brown ones from across the room.

With one last deep breath, she lifted her gaze to circle the crowd and in her mind she told herself to picture them all in their underwear. That was the only way she was going to get through this.

"Hi," she said weakly before tapping the microphone to make sure it was on. "Um…I…you're all probably wondering why I'm up here holding a microphone in my hands. And no…I'm not going to sing."

"Thank God for that!" she heard Finn yell and she suddenly felt a little calmer as a small ripple of laughter erupted from his side of the room. Logan smiled faintly as he sipped on his glass of champagne.

"Thanks, Finn!" she chastised him playfully, while being secretly grateful to him for easing some of the awkward atmosphere that was building. "Um…I just…," she sighed trying to find the right words to say, "…I'm usually pretty good at this whole public speaking thing but not…" deep breath, "…I just wanted to say how happy I am for Logan and Kimberly. You're both clearly…perfect…for each other…," she struggled on the last part. From the corner of her eye she could see Shira glowering at her from the edge of the stage, but she wouldn't let her detract from what she was trying to do. She was trying to let him go and do it with a little bit of dignity.

"Here, Here!" someone shouted causing Rory's gaze to wander over to the person it hurt the most to look at. He stood across the room, holding a glass of champagne in his hand. He wore a serious expression on his face, like he was unsure of where this was leading to, but he couldn't look away. His brown eyes bored through her and she felt her chest constrict and a lump form in her throat. She pulled her eyes from him and met his new wife's suspicious gaze.

"Kim Masterson," she paused, thinking again, "sorry Huntzberger…is the luckiest girl in the world. And not because of the wealth or the prestige being married to a Huntzberger can bring, but because in marrying Logan, she has married the best person I know. Someone who is kind and thoughtful and…" her eyes met his again and caught herself from continuing to list all of his best qualities before it got embarrassing. "I wish you both a very happy life together."

She closed her eyes and took one last deep breath, "To the bride and groom!"

"To the bride and groom!" her words were echoed around the room and with one last look, her eyes were drawn to Logan's. In that moment that their eyes connected, she saw a whole cacophony of emotions wash over his face. Sadness, regret, maybe even love. But as he nodded at her, she couldn't help but smile knowing that that was his way of saying thank you and goodbye.

She nodded back to him and then, pulling her eyes away from, she handed the microphone back to the DJ and made her way off stage. She didn't even glance at Shira as she brushed passed her. Instead she automatically made her way towards where her Grandparents were standing. They both gave her a warm smile and helped her with her coat. With one last look, Rory saw him watching her. He waved and then turned back towards his wife and his new life. Rory let out a sigh, lifted her head up and followed after her Grandparents.

Maybe it was the life she could've had. Maybe it was the life she should've had. But now, it was the life she would never have and she had to make peace with that and move on. Starting now.


End file.
